How to Find a Couples Counsellor, Understand the Cost and Explore Affordable Options

8 min. read

by Katia Erokhina, MA Gestalt Therapy | PACFA Certified Practising Counsellor

If you are looking for support with your relationship, you might find yourself searching for “couples counselling near me,” “couples therapy,” “relationship counselling” or “couples counsellor near me.” These terms are often used to describe similar kinds of relationship support, although individual practitioners may work quite differently.

Finding someone is relatively easy. Finding someone whose approach makes sense to both of you can take a little more consideration.

In my own work with couples, I practise with an eclectic blend of modalities. How I work depends very much on the couple in front of me, what is happening between them, and what seems useful at that particular point in the work. I don’t expect every couple, or every relationship difficulty, to fit neatly into one therapeutic model. I’m interested in meeting the particular relationship that is in front of me and finding a way of working that makes sense for the people involved.

What should you look for in a couples counsellor?

One useful question is whether the practitioner has specific experience working with couples.

Couples counselling is different from having two people attend an individual counselling session together. The practitioner is working with two individual experiences as well as the relationship developing between them.

You can ask a prospective couples counsellor what informs their work, what sessions usually look like, how long they recommend for a couples session and how they work when partners have very different understandings of what is happening. Most therapists will be open to have a quick phone chat before you book in.

You do not need to understand the differences between Gestalt therapy, EFT, the Gottman Method, Relational Life Therapy and every other model before choosing a practitioner. Asking someone to describe how they actually work with couples can often tell you much more.

How much does couples counselling cost in Australia?

As of 2026, there is no standard fee for couples counselling in Australia. Fees vary depending on the practitioner, their experience and qualifications, location, session length and the type of service offered.

As a rough guide, you will commonly see private couples counselling sessions somewhere around $150 to $300 or more per session, depending on the practitioner, their qualifications and experience, where they practise and, importantly, the length of the appointment.

This is only a broad guide rather than a recommended fee or an industry-wide price.

When comparing couples counselling prices, check the session length. Couples practitioners may offer 50, 60, 75 or 90-minute appointments. A $250 appointment lasting 90 minutes is different from a $250 appointment lasting 50 minutes.

It can also be useful to think about the cost of counselling over time rather than only the price of one appointment. Some couples attend weekly for a period. Others come fortnightly or change the frequency as the work develops. What is useful will depend on the couple, the circumstances and what you are hoping to work on.

Can you get a Medicare rebate for couples counselling?

Generally, couples counselling itself is not covered by Medicare under a Mental Health Treatment Plan, including when the practitioner is an eligible psychologist.

Mental Health Treatment Plans provide Medicare rebates for eligible mental health treatment for an individual. While Medicare also provides rebates for certain group mental health services, couples and family therapy are not included as group therapy under these arrangements.

There are some provisions for involving a partner, family member or carer in an individual’s mental health treatment, but this is different from couples counselling where the relationship itself is the focus.

Private health insurance is separate from Medicare. Some policies may offer benefits for counselling or psychotherapy, depending on the fund, level of cover and whether the practitioner is recognised by the insurer. If you are hoping to claim a rebate for couples counselling, it is best to check directly with your insurer before booking.

What if couples counselling feels too expensive?

Cost matters, particularly when counselling is not a one-off appointment.

I offer some sliding-scale options in my own practice. This reflects something important to me about access to counselling. I am aware that the cost of ongoing sessions can make counselling unrealistic for some people, and I want there to be some flexibility where I can offer it.

Sliding-scale places are limited and availability can change, so I cannot offer every fee in every situation. But if cost is one of the things making you uncertain about starting couples counselling, you are welcome to ask what options are currently available.

There are other possibilities too. Some community and not-for-profit organisations provide relationship counselling with fees based on income or circumstances. Some private practitioners offer concession rates or a limited number of lower-fee places. Online counselling can also broaden your options beyond practitioners in your immediate area.

Does working on your relationship always mean going to couples counselling?

No, not necessarily.

Couples counselling can provide a particular kind of space, especially when the same conversations keep repeating, communication has become difficult, there has been a rupture in trust, or you are trying to make sense of a significant transition.

But there are also things couples can explore outside the counselling room.

Couples counselling is one way to work on a relationship, but there are things you can explore outside the counselling room too. Below are a few books, courses and resources that I think can be useful starting points. These are not advertisements or sponsored recommendations. They are resources you might want to explore and decide for yourself whether they fit.

For understanding recurring patterns: Hold Me Tight by Dr Sue Johnson is based on Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and explores the emotional patterns that can sit underneath recurring arguments and disconnection. It includes conversations and exercises couples can try together.

For practical relationship exercises: John and Julie Gottman’s Eight Dates gives couples eight structured conversations around topics such as trust, conflict, sex, money, family and dreams. The Gottman Institute also has online exercises, workshops and courses for couples. Some are paid, while other resources are available freely.

For a more direct relational approach: Us by Terry Real looks at defensiveness, individualism and some of the patterns we bring into intimate relationships. His Relational Life Institute also offers courses and workshops for couples and individuals.

For men who want to look more closely at relationships and emotional life: Terry Real’s I Don’t Want to Talk About It explores depression, emotional disconnection and some of the ways men learn to relate to vulnerability, intimacy and themselves. Not every part of the book will speak to every man, but it can be a useful starting point for men who are curious about patterns that may be difficult to recognise or put into words. Terry Real’s broader work also looks at how expectations around masculinity can influence relationships and the ways men connect with their partners.

For thinking about love and attachment: Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller is an accessible introduction to attachment styles. I would treat attachment categories as a way of becoming curious rather than as fixed labels for yourself or your partner.

You might choose one book and read a chapter together, try one exercise, listen to a relationship podcast on a walk, or set aside half an hour each week to talk without phones or other distractions.

A useful question can be: “What happens between us when things become difficult?” rather than immediately trying to work out who started it or who is right.

If you notice yourselves having the same conversation repeatedly without getting anywhere, that can also be useful information. Sometimes a book or exercise opens something up. At other times, having another person in the room can help you see a pattern that is difficult to see from inside the relationship.

None of these resources needs to become a prescription for how a relationship should work. Take what feels relevant, leave what does not, and stay curious about what you notice together.

Relationship books, exercises and courses can be useful, but they may not be appropriate for every situation. Where there are concerns about safety, family violence or coercive control, individual professional support may be a more appropriate starting point.

Some practical things you can try in your relationship

Relationship work can sometimes begin with fairly ordinary things.

You might become curious about what happens just before a familiar argument begins. What does each person notice? What are you hoping your partner will understand at that moment? What happens when you do not feel understood?

You might also notice what happens outside conflict. Do you still know what is going on in each other's lives? Are there moments when one of you reaches for connection and the other responds? Are affection, play, appreciation or physical closeness still finding their way into everyday life?

Another useful practice is learning when to stop a conversation. Continuing to talk when one or both people are overwhelmed does not necessarily produce better communication. Sometimes taking time to regulate and agreeing to return to the conversation can create more possibility than trying to resolve everything immediately.

The Gottmans describe some of these everyday moments as “turning toward” bids for connection. Their work also explores friendship, fondness and admiration, repair after conflict and recognising patterns such as criticism, defensiveness, contempt and stonewalling.

I find some of these ideas useful because they give couples language for noticing patterns. They are not rules for what a relationship should look like.

What about the TV series Couples Therapy?

If you have watched Couples Therapy, you may already have seen a very different representation of couples work from the versions we usually see on television.

The documentary series follows psychoanalyst and clinical psychologist Dr Orna Guralnik working with real couples.

One of the interesting things about watching the series is seeing how a conversation that appears to be about money, sex, parenting, housework or who said what can gradually reveal something about the relationship underneath it.

I think the program can also give people some sense of what it is like to stay with a conversation rather than trying to solve it immediately.

Of course, it is television. What we see has been filmed and edited, and your experience of couples counselling may look quite different. There are also many ways of practising couples therapy, and Dr Guralnik's approach is one particular approach.

Still, the series can be an interesting starting point for couples who are curious about what relationship counselling might involve.

How do you know when couples counselling might be useful?

You do not have to wait until you are considering separation.

People come to couples counselling for many reasons. Sometimes there is frequent conflict. Sometimes there is very little conflict because difficult conversations have stopped happening altogether. Couples may be dealing with parenting, sex and intimacy, infidelity, trust, family relationships, work pressures, illness, grief, different expectations about the future or simply a feeling that they have become distant from one another.

Some couples also come when things are generally going well but they want to understand their relationship better.

Finding a relationship counsellor who fits

If you are searching for a couples counsellor or relationship counsellor near you, you can contact more than one person before deciding.

Ask about their approach. Ask about session length and fees. Ask whether they have sliding-scale options.

Most importantly, notice whether their way of thinking about relationships makes sense to you both.

Couples counselling cannot tell you what your relationship should be or make decisions about it for you. What it can offer is a place to slow things down enough to notice what is happening between you, understand something more about each person's experience, and experiment with different ways of meeting one another.

Sometimes that begins in a counselling room. Sometimes it begins with a book, a workshop, an exercise or a different conversation at home. There is more than one way to begin paying attention to a relationship.